Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
