what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
