My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
