I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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