the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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