covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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