I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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