I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
