she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The power of my boobs compel you
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
