We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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