Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And then he peed in my hair
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