Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
