So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
