Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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