I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
