I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
