dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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