Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
