problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
