there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
