Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
