Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
