This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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