Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
