I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
