I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
