I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If I die, sorry about rent.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
