i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
