She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
