take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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