you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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