he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
