where am i from again
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
