I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
