I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
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