I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
