my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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