Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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