YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
