So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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