do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
