Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
