Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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