i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
im on a boat
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