just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
