I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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