Do you still have your period?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
