left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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