it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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