just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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