My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
