So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
