watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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