Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize