I want to walk on stilts...naked
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
