going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
