No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
