id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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