Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
