I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
