Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
