Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
