I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
